Talking with Children About Grief

Children need reassurance when they are grieving that their physical and emotional needs will be met. Children will look to the trusted adults in their lives to shape their grief experience. Here are some guidelines for you to help the grieving child in your life:

• Create a safe space to allow children to talk and cry
• The circumstances of the death may need to be explained in concrete terms
• Allow a child to have pictures or personal items of their loved one
• A child’s favorite bear, blanket, etc. should be encouraged
• Daily tasks and schedules are important. Children tend to feel safer when their daily routine continues
• Children who are grieving often fear for the health and lives of other family members
• Children need repeated reassurance that the death was not their fault
• Children need repeated reassurance that the death was not their fault
• Encourage the grieving child to continue to express their grief through play, arts, crafts, journaling and music.
• Children may engage in regressive behaviors such as temper tantrums as they struggle with how to communicate their grief feelings
• Try to use concrete language. Instead of saying “asleep”, “lost”, or “passed away”, use the word “died”. Using vague words may cause the child to fear sleep, or continue to look for the “lost” person.